


Louder Than Thunder

by Blackberreh



Series: We are more than our bodies [2]
Category: Naruto
Genre: Adapting to prosthetics, Depressing Thoughts, Tobirama's not okay, but at least Kagami's there to help
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-06
Updated: 2019-02-06
Packaged: 2019-10-23 08:33:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,288
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17680049
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Blackberreh/pseuds/Blackberreh
Summary: Adapting to the loss of a limb and being forced into retirement is difficult, but Tobirama is trying.One day at a time.





	Louder Than Thunder

**Author's Note:**

> ALRIGHT so here's this little drabble that continues after Into The Night;;;
> 
> It's not much of anything, just Tobes trying to adjust to things;;;

It was with a sound of deep frustration that the hunk of wood clattered to the floor, and Tobirama collapsed into his chair with a harsh breath. Sweat beaded his forehead and he pressed a glowing green hand against what remained of his leg, attempting to soothe the ache that just wouldn’t go away no matter what he did. The sound of howling winds and thunder was barely audible in his basement lab, a familiar background noise that he was able to block out in most cases - but not that night.

He was too frustrated with his lack of progress. He couldn’t _concentrate._

Told time and again by the doctors at the hospital that he wouldn’t adapt overnight, Tobirama had ignored them and thrown himself straight into his lab as soon as he was able to leave the hospital. It was a place he hadn’t spent much time in since he took up the hat and became Hokage, but it was a familiar comfort in the wake of his forced retirement. And the perfect distraction. Even if he’d had to be practically carried there by Kagami in the beginning, the boy ever so eager to help even when it wasn’t wanted.

It had taken a lot to keep from snapping at his former student in the time that had passed. As it was, he knew his dismissals of the boy were not as gentle as they should have been, those times when his temper got the better of him, and Kagami’s hurt expression liked to replay in his mind’s eye whenever he wasn’t sufficiently distracted.

He clenched his eyes shut and pulled away his hand to scrub it through his hair, and for a long while just sat there and waited for the discomfort caused by the weather to pass. It still throbbed - like his leg was still there, like all he had to do was stand up and he could walk away without any issue, but to give into that sensation would just result in him falling to the floor in an embarrassing heap.

It would take time, they said.

Tobirama didn’t _have_ time.

Madara was alive. He was out there and getting into who knew what kind of trouble, and Tobirama wanted _answers_ . He couldn’t get those answers until he was able to move around with his prosthetic for more than a few hours at a time - and he had a plan to connect his chakra with the wood and allow it to move as well as a real limb, but the seals and his chakra didn’t stick very well and it was difficult to concentrate and fiddle with this damn _weather and pain that just wouldn’t-_

There was a knock on the door, and Kagami’s soft voice came through. “Sensei?”

Tobirama grunted and sat up, pulling his expression into something that would hopefully not frighten his former student away. “Enter.”

The door creaked open and the young man hesitantly peeked in - before he pushed it open further and stepped inside. He looked nervous, squinting in the harsh overhead lighting, and Tobirama sighed and stared down at the desk in front of him, mind a jumbled mess of half-formed thoughts. Unbidden, an apology built on his tongue, but Kagami spoke first.

“Sorry for bothering you. I figured you’d still be up and thought I’d just check in.” He looked sheepish as he shuffled his way further into the room. Black eyes alight on the discarded prosthetic on the floor, and his expression becomes pinched. He picked it up delicately and placed it on the desk and looked at Tobirama with a frown that honestly made the former Hokage want to shrivel up - just a little bit. “You should be more careful, sensei. I know these things are meant to be tough but that doesn’t mean you should just throw them around.”

Kagami knew how frustrated Tobirama was with this situation. Tobirama was rather grateful that the Uchiha didn’t make mention of it.

Tobirama averted his gaze and let out a breath, and pulled his glasses off. He wasn't going to get any more work done that night, it would seem. “It matters not, I’m working on making a new one.” He pursed his lips, and said in soft admission, “It aches. I just needed it _off._ ”

Tobirama would never admit such a thing in front of his other former students, but it was different with Kagami. Kagami who looked at him with soft, understanding eyes, never with pity but with sympathy, always there to help without Tobirama having to ask. He knew Kagami had other duties to attend to, even with the war dwindling to a close, but even still he made time for Tobirama. Even when Tobirama’s frustration grew in such a way he could no longer hold it in and stay silent.

Especially on days where Tobirama wished Madara had just left him to die.

A hand gently squeezed his shoulder, and then Kagami’s soft voice began to fill the room with chatter as he tidied up in Tobirama’s stead. Papers were gathered into neat piles and placed in drawers as Kagami recounted that day’s excitements - Danzo was clashing with Hiruzen’s decisions again, which was rather worrying since Hiruzen tended to buckle easily when Danzo pushed, but Kagami was able to be a voice of reason - more so than Homura and Koharu, who tended to defer to Danzo. Something that was starting to annoy Kagami, as he confided in Tobirama as he finished cleaning.

Tobirama listened in silence, eyes focused on his clasped hands. Kagami’s voice was a pleasant distraction, but he knew soon it would come to an end as Kagami would need to leave for his own home and get some rest for the coming day.

Tobirama had rarely left his home in the past month. Since leaving the hospital he’d holed himself up in his lab and only really left for physical therapy, something he’d only really gone to at the very vocal insistence of his new Hokage. Hiruzen could be very firm when he needed to be - where it _mattered_ . Tobirama knew he’d made the right choice in choosing him for the position of Hokage, but that didn’t mean he enjoyed having that authority directed onto _him_.

“Come on, sensei. It’s late, and you need to sleep.” Kagami’s hand was back on his shoulder and Tobirama glanced at him for a moment, before letting out a sigh and pushing the chair back a bit.

He picked up the prosthetic and it felt heavy and unwieldy in his hands, and bent over to reattach it to his leg. It had been amputated just below the knee, and the scar tissue twinged with discomfort as he affixed the straps and buckles. He did his best to ignore it when he rose unsteadily to his feet.

Kagami was there, as always, and unbidden he lifted Tobirama’s arm to drape it over his shoulders and wrapped an arm around Tobirama’s waist. He scooped up Tobirama’s crutches - which had been leaning against the end of the desk - with his free hand, and began to guide Tobirama gently out of the lab and up the stairs. It was slow going and did nothing to soothe his frustration, but Tobirama tried his best to tell himself that tomorrow was a new day - he would work on the new prosthetic, and look forwards to Kagami’s visit in the evening, and he had to repeat those thoughts again the next day then so be it.

As much as he hated it, as much as he felt useless, as much as he sometimes wished Madara had just let him die… He had to do this.

One day at a time.


End file.
